Assuming the Obvious
by Sakura the Cookie Monster
Summary: They say that assumption is the mother of all screw-ups. Well, Usagi is about to learn that lesson. Implied shounen-ai.


TITLE: Assuming the Obvious  
  
AUTHOR: Sakura the Cookie Monster  
  
RATING: PG-13  
  
DISCLAIMER: Standard disclaimers apply.  
  
WARNING: Implied shounen-ai +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
"Hey, can you move your leg to the left, Mamoru?"  
  
"I'll try, Yuuichirou."  
  
"OW!"  
  
"What is it, Shingo?"  
  
"You're squeezing it too tightly, Motoki."  
  
"Sorry. But, it's that it's so small."  
  
"Yeah, Shingo, it is small. It's like a little stick."  
  
"It's not the size that counts, Mamoru! It's how you use it."  
  
"Shingo is right, Mamoru."  
  
"Oh, you're taking the little one's side now?"  
  
"Of course. And for that, Shingo has to take you."  
  
"What? I'm not letting the shrimp do that to me!"  
  
"What's the matter, Mamoru? You scared of this?"  
  
"Of course not!"  
  
"Then, let's do it!"  
  
"DAMN!"  
  
"What is it, Shingo?"  
  
"It's broken."  
  
"Seems like it."  
  
"Thanks for stating it, Captain Obvious."  
  
"...Hey! What are you guys doing?"  
  
"Alright, can you do it?"  
  
"Just shut up and do it!"  
  
* * *  
  
Usagi Tsukino had been standing behind the door for over five minutes by now, hearing all of the conversation that was taking place. From what she could tell, Mamoru, Motoki, Yuuichirou, and Shingo were behind that door, doing something that seemed to be illegal.  
  
\What in the hell is Shingo doing fucking Mamoru?\  
  
But, of course, that was just a mental thought in her mind. She leans in and continues listening in on what could be an illicit and illegal act of mindless sex. At least that was what she thought. Especially after hearing Mamoru cry out in an orgasmic rush of relief.  
  
If the world could measure her anger, it would be far beyond what she felt towards Queen Beryl when Mamoru was brainwashed. And that anger was slowly rising up, boiling to the point of the hot water overflowing from the pot and spilling on the stove below.  
  
* * *  
  
"Lost courage already, Mamoru?"  
  
"I'm sorry for my lack of manners, but I'm not used to escorting little boys."  
  
"I'm not a little boy anymore!"  
  
"Hey Mamoru, hate to tell you this but Shingo's now a man."  
  
"...I didn't want to admit it. But, I guess you guys are right after all. Shingo is no longer a little boy."  
  
"Ha ha!"  
  
"Yes, Shingo, you are a man. However, your technique needs much improvement."  
  
"What? But, I did it, didn't I?"  
  
"Yes, little one, you did. But, you need to know that there are other ways of doing it."  
  
"Well, Motoki-sensei, show me."  
  
"Gladly. That is, if Mamoru doesn't mind."  
  
"I feel left out."  
  
"Well Yuuichirou, how about you help on this lesson?"  
  
"Okay!"  
  
"Motoki?"  
  
"Yes Mamoru?"  
  
"Don't screw up again."  
  
"Let's go, you guys!"  
  
* * *  
  
Usagi was horrified, hearing that her brother is receiving sex lessons from Mamoru, Motoki, and Yuuichirou.  
  
\Those hentai men! How dare they corrupt my little brother into doing this with them?\  
  
She had half a nerve to go in there and yell at all of them for even kissing her brother. But, something was holding her back from doing so. Was it morbid curiosity? Or was it the fact that she was getting turned on by this?  
  
\Ridiculous! How could I be turned on by my boyfriend and my brother screwing two other men?\  
  
The noises from the room were getting louder, driving Usagi to madness in both guilt and shock. She pulls her hand into a fist, ignoring the pain that her long nails were causing on her hand and the nail marks that she was leaving on her palms.  
  
* * *  
  
"Ahhhhh... Thank you, guys..."  
  
"Don't mention it, Shingo..."  
  
"Do you mind if I practice for a while?"  
  
"Hai. Just relax and play."  
  
"Mamoru! Look at this."  
  
"Oh my god!"  
  
"That was great, Shingo."  
  
"I feel like we're having a secret meeting."  
  
"Let's do it!"  
  
* * *  
  
"Let's do it!", I hear Mamoru shout, sounding excited as hell.  
  
I had just about enough of this madness. So, in bitter rage, I slam the door open so hard that it made Shingo jump from where he was laying down.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY BROTHER?!?", I shout angrily, glaring at all of them like as though my glare could kill them this very instant.  
  
"Oh, hi sis!", Shingo answered calmly. He was wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a black Shin Seiki Evangelion t-shirt  
  
And I glance at Mamoru, Motoki, and Yuuichirou. Mamoru was wearing a pair of jean shorts and a tight tank top. His left ankle was adorned with a cowry shell anklet that was snug against his bony ankle. Motoki was wearing a pair of baggy cargo pants and an oversized T-shirt. Yuuichirou was wearing was wearing a black sleeveless turtleneck and a pair of tight blue jeans.  
  
"We were just teaching Shingo how to play Twister," Yuuichirou points out.  
  
All of them glance at me in shock and in annoyance for ruining their game. Their simple, little game of Twister. I blush nervously, can't believe that I assumed that Mamoru, Motoki, and Yuuichirou were corrupting my brother and turning him into a sex fiend.  
  
"What about the broken condom?", I asked, trying to find some answers.  
  
"Condom? Usako, were you listening in on us?", Mamoru asked, confused as to what I meant.  
  
"Of course. I was worried that you were cheating on me with Motoki, Yuuichirou, and Shingo," I answer, not thinking of what I was going to say.  
  
By the looks on their faces, they didn't expect that from me at all.  
  
"Oh my god! You thought that the four of us were having an orgy?", Yuuichirou said, showing a face of disgust.  
  
"Um, yeah..," I answer, trying my best to hide my embarrassment.  
  
"EWWWWWWWWWWWW!", all four of them scream out, obviously disturbed at the fact that their innocent game of Twister was mistaken for a lust-driven orgy.  
  
"The only thing that's broken is the spinner and now my door. Damn you, Usagi!", Shingo hollered, giving me the finger all the while.  
  
"Usagi-san, you've just made an ass out of yourself and us," Motoki finally says, stretching his legs, "Man... Twister can really make my body ache sometimes."  
  
"That's why you have to work out more often, Motoki," Mamoru says, grinning all the while.  
  
"...Um, you guys have fun. I'll see ya later," I say, looking at all of them in shock and in relief.  
  
At this, I run out of my brother's room and head straight for my own, learning one thing: Assumptions are the mother of all fuck ups.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ AUTHOR'S NOTES: Yes, finally, a straight-up comedy from me. And yes, I do have a perverted mind. This little story came out of my mind in frustration on writing the last chapter to "Lessons", which I have had a mind block on. Plus, I was in the mood for a humor fic. So, enjoy this lovely, short number. 


End file.
